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July 29, 2026
Faye Lawrence got blackout drunk at 13. What she remembers is not the drinking. It is the relief.
She started drinking heavily as a teenager and kept going for decades. From the outside she looked successful and high functioning, right up until late 2017, when the wheels came off the cart and she found herself in inpatient detox.
She got sober. Then she waited five more years to find out why she had been drinking in the first place. Faye was diagnosed with ADHD at 48, and suddenly the chaos, the burnout, the emotional intensity, the boredom, and the constant need to switch her brain off all made sense. Alcohol had not come out of nowhere. It had been doing a job.
Faye is now a certified grey area drinking coach and ADDCA certified ADHD coach with degrees in psychology and counselling, and she has spoken at TEDx and SXSW. She founded Untoxicated, which grew into Australia's largest alcohol-free social community back when being sober was decidedly uncool.
In this episode, Tracy and Faye get into grey area drinking and why the all-or-nothing label keeps people stuck, what alcohol is actually doing in an ADHD brain, the mummy wine culture that was sold to women on purpose, and why the carrot works where the stick never will.
If you have ever needed a drink to get your brain to be quiet, this conversation is not here to shame you. It is here to give you clarity.
“Alcohol helped me dial everything down. It turned down the volume on my thoughts, my body, and my overwhelm. Alcohol was the attempted solution that later became the problem.”
- Faye Lawrence
“For a lot of ADHD women, alcohol is not about fun. It is about trying to regulate a nervous system that never learned another way.”
- Faye Lawrence
“High-functioning drinking can look controlled from the outside, while inside you are constantly negotiating with yourself.”
-- Faye Lawrence
"The mommy wine culture was not accidental. Women were sold the idea that they needed alcohol to cope."
-- Faye Lawrence
"Alcohol may calm things down in the moment, but it can also make ADHD symptoms worse."
-- Faye Lawrence
"People with ADHD often need extra pieces in place: accountability, support, psychoeducation, and tools for emotional regulation."
- Faye Lawrence
"Once people see you living differently, it becomes a possibility for them too. "
- Faye Lawrence
- Faye shares being dismissed by a psychiatrist in 2014 before finally getting diagnosed with ADHD at 48.
- Sobriety reveals the constant internal motor that alcohol had been masking for decades.
- Childhood signs include constant talking, rebellion, time blindness, social intensity, and difficulty pushing through boring schoolwork.
[18:57 – 45:01] High-Functioning Drinking and ADHD Self-Medication
- Faye explains gray area drinking as drinking that appears controlled externally but creates shame and mental negotiation internally.
- She connects ADHD, emotional regulation, sensory overwhelm, and mommy wine culture to alcohol use.
- Sobriety shifts from fear and social identity loss into curiosity, experimentation, and alcohol-free connection.
[45:01 – 01:10:37] Alcohol, Dopamine, Recovery, and the Pause
- Faye describes alcohol as self-medication that calmed her brain and narrowed her reward system.
- She explains why ADHD can complicate recovery through impulsivity, distress tolerance, and treatment dropout.
- Her main ADHD workaround is cultivating a pause before reacting, overworking, drinking, or pushing through overwhelm.
ADHD isn’t a productivity problem. It’s an identity problem.
That’s why most strategies don’t stick—they weren’t designed for how your brain actually works. Your ADHD Brain is A-OK Academy is different. It’s a patented, science-backed coaching program that helps you stop fighting your brain and start building a life that fits. 👉Learn more here
- Website: fayelawrence.com.au
- Instagram: @_fayelawrence_
- Facebook: FayeLawrenceCoaching
- LinkedIn: faye-lawrence-aus
- Free Wine O'Clock reset guide: fayelawrence.com.au/tracyo
- ADHD-alcohol small group coaching program also opens in mid-August: fayelawrence.com.au/loop
