342:   Not Done Yet: Redefining the Third Act with ADHD with Sandy Reynolds


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July 21

Aging with ADHD isn't about decline—it's about finally coming into your own. Sandy Reynolds is challenging everything we've been told about getting older, especially as neurodivergent women.

Sandy is a coach, facilitator, and fierce advocate for women navigating their third act. With more than 25 years of leadership and adult education experience, she helps women untangle themselves from outdated roles, people-pleasing patterns, and identities that no longer fit. Diagnosed with ADHD in her 50s after a fellow grad student pointed out that she "checked out a lot," Sandy brings lived experience to conscious aging—an approach that's about healing the past and embracing the future so you can flourish now.

In this conversation, Sandy and Tracy explore why ADHD women often look and feel 10 years younger, how our relentless curiosity keeps us growing when others stagnate, and why so many of us hit our stride in our 50s instead of winding down. They dive into the intersection of hormones, dopamine, and aging, discuss why Sandy's closest friend and she "carry on like they're 35," and explore how conscious aging reframes getting older as gaining wisdom rather than losing relevance.

Sandy also shares her approach to life review and life repair, explains why one-third of people don't have wills (hint: executive function), and reveals her number one ADHD workaround that no guest has mentioned in 350+ episodes. From Cambodia's reverence for elders to our culture's ageism, this episode will make you rethink everything about what it means to age as a neurodivergent woman.




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Quotes:

"So much understanding of who I am and why I do the things I do the way I do them—and all of a sudden, it made sense."
- Sandy Reynolds

"I think being able to review my life through the lens of ADHD really shifted things for me in resolving some of those hurts or negative feelings about who I am or who I was as a child."
- Sandy Reynolds

"Conscious aging is an approach to getting older that's more about healing the past, embracing the future, so you can live and flourish now."
- Sandy Reynolds

"I think that curiosity keeps your life growing and expanding."
- Sandy Reynolds

"I feel like I show up with far more authority within myself now. Why should that end at 65? Of course, we wouldn’t want to retire now, when I finally know who I am. I don’t want to."
- Sandy Reynolds

"We become wisdom keepers in our families, in our communities, because we've done all the work of integrating who we are."
- Sandy Reynolds

"Learn to say no more quickly. When you say yes, you're saying no to something else."
- Sandy Reynolds

"When I transition from one thing to the next, I give myself space—instead of just going from one thing to the next."
- Sandy Reynolds




















[00:00:00 - 00:20:00] Late ADHD Diagnosis Journey and Career Discovery
  • Sandy suspected ADHD in her 30s when a friend mentioned traits, diagnosed in her 50s after classmate noted she frequently "checked out" during group work.
  • Childhood signs included report cards saying "head in the clouds" and "not living up to potential," plus struggles with impulsivity and never turning in completed assignments.
  • Career shifted after realizing facilitation was "a job" at a workshop, leading to adult education in her 30s and master's degree in her 50s.

[00:20:00 - 00:35:00] Understanding ADHD in Aging and Conscious Aging Philosophy
  • ADHD symptoms become more pronounced with aging due to dopamine decline and hormonal changes, making it hard to distinguish from normal aging.
  • Conscious aging means "healing the past, embracing the future to flourish now" through life review, life repair, and addressing internal ageism.
  • Women with ADHD maintain youthful energy and curiosity, challenging decline narratives and often launching bigger second careers.

[00:35:00 - 00:50:00] Cultural Perspectives on Aging and ADHD Advantages
  • Sandy contrasts Western ageism with Cambodia, where age brings respect and older women are valued as wisdom keepers.
  • Women lose confidence before puberty, regain it in their 50s when it soars higher than men's, often triggering major life changes.
  • Key ADHD workaround: honoring transitions between activities. Advice to 45-year-old self: "learn to say no more quickly

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EPISODE #342
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    Hi, I'm Tracy

    I teach Smart Ass ADHD women how to use their brilliant brains to build the life they want by embracing their too-muchness and focusing on their strengths.