350: Mental Mindfields: RSD, Overthinking, and the Trap of Feeling Judged

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September 15

Sometimes, the most humbling moments teach us the most about ourselves. Tracy recently found herself in Santa Barbara, recording courses for major companies like LinkedIn Learning and Google. After three flawless, scripted trainings, she was asked to do an impromptu training on ten ADHD tips. Despite having written a book and recorded 350 podcast episodes, Tracy couldn't do it. Her brain needs a runway to get off the ground, and being forced to wing it made her brain refuse to cooperate.

That experience forced her to confront every ADHD pitfall she coaches other women through. In this solo episode, Tracy introduces her "table legs" analogy for understanding how ADHD challenges are interconnected. RSD, feeling judged, overthinking, perfectionism, and their cousins all act like legs holding up a table built on self-doubt and shame.

Here's what Tracy discovered: you don't have to fix everything at once. Kick out just a few of those legs, and the whole table collapses. Tracy walks through each "mental mindfield," shows how they're connected, and offers practical strategies for interrupting these cycles.

This episode is for anyone trapped in the endless loop of ADHD perfectionism and self-doubt. Tracy's vulnerable story and actionable framework prove that these patterns don't disappear with success—but they can be dismantled.









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Quotes:

"I need to over prepare to keep my anxiety at bay. I am great when I can control everything... But if you make me wing it, especially wing it around people, my brain is not going to cooperate."
- Tracy Otsuka

"That table only stands because we keep reinforcing it. So the moment we start kicking out even a few of those legs, the whole thing collapses."
- Tracy Otsuka

"Perfectionism comes from feeling judged. It is our way to keep from being rejected and or criticized... If it's perfect, no one can ever say anything bad about us."
-- Tracy Otsuka

"When we're constantly criticizing others, it can make us difficult to be around... Being critical of others can become a mirror for how we feel about ourselves."
-- Tracy Otsuka

"We don't have to fix everything all at once. Focusing on just one or two areas... has a ripple effect and it makes the other ADHD pitfalls feel less powerful."
- Tracy Otsuka

"Perfectionism is not about doing your best... perfectionism is about trying to avoid criticism or failure. It's a defense strategy."
-- Tracy Otsuka

"The more connection you offer, the stronger the relationship and the more positive emotion it generates."
-- Tracy Otsuka

"You don't need to change who you are. You just need to stop holding yourself hostage to who you're not."
- Tracy Otsuka


[00:00:00 - 00:15:00] The Santa Barbara Recording Experience
  • Tracy was asked to record an impromptu fourth training after successfully completing three scripted courses for a major corporate learning platform, but panicked when asked to deliver 10 ADHD tips without notes in 1-2 minute segments.
  • Despite being complimented as highly professional with beautifully written scripts and authentic delivery, she couldn't perform when put on the spot—her "brain needs a runway to get off the ground."
  • This experience echoed childhood trauma from eighth grade when a teacher wrote "Disturbed Speaker" on her book report after she froze during an unprepared presentation, showing how anxiety and lack of preparation derail ADHD brains.

[00:15:00 - 00:25:00] The Nine Mental Minefields Revealed
  • Tracy identifies nine interconnected ADHD pitfalls that act like "legs holding up a table built on self-doubt, shame, and negative emotion": RSD, feeling judged, needing to be understood, overthinking, second-guessing, perfectionism, comparing to others, feeling disappointed by others, and being critical of others.
  • These patterns are "baked into our ADHD experience" and don't disappear with success—she's seen them in executives, bestselling authors, attorneys, eight-figure business owners, and national news anchors.
  • The key insight: you don't have to fix everything at once because these minefields are interconnected—knocking out even a few "legs" causes the whole negative table to collapse.

[00:25:00 - 00:35:00] Breaking the Cycles and Practical Solutions
  • For perfectionism: recognize it's not about doing your best but avoiding criticism, commit to "done is better than perfect," and remember nothing is ever truly perfect.
  • For feeling judged: pause, get in your body to feel the emotion, ask "is this really true?" and replace judgment thoughts with curiosity about what you can learn.
  • For overthinking and second-guessing: set a deadline (5-15 minutes maximum), then shift into action because real-world information is better than mental loops, and action builds self-trust.

Instead of Struggling to figure out what to do next?

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EPISODE #350

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    Hi, I'm Tracy

    I teach Smart Ass ADHD women how to use their brilliant brains to build the life they want by embracing their too-muchness and focusing on their strengths.

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